Many people think that when they grow older than fifty, they will be unlikely to enjoy their sexual lives and will become less interested in sex altogether. This belief is supported by some therapists and sexual health experts. However, there is no need for you to give up on sexual activities once you turn fifty. On the contrary, aging opens new possibilities that may help you enjoy your sexual life even more than you did when you were younger. The key to success is not being afraid of changes and trying something new. If you’re afraid of forgetting about sex when you get older, read this article to see that your apprehensions are mostly induced by popular stereotypes and your natural fear of aging.
How Sex after 50 Can Become Better than It Used to Be
These reasons should be enough to convince anyone who believes that they can say goodbye to their sexual lives after fifty that they are wrong:
- Women no longer have to worry about pregnancy. Older women who have already gone through menopause can have sex without worrying that they might get pregnant. There is no need for condoms (if your relationship with your partner is long-term and monogamous, and both of you have been tested for STI), birth control pills, IUDs, or diaphragms. You can simply have fun without taking the time to consider the consequences.
- The children are most likely grown-up. Just think about it: how many times did you have to keep quiet because you were afraid that your kids might wake up? How many sleepless nights did both you and your partner have when your children were small and needed your attention all the time? Well, all of this is over for most people when they are over fifty. Their children have already moved out, and they have the whole house to themselves. Not being confined to the privacy of a bedroom works wonders for many couples. The bathroom? The comfortable sofa in the living room? Another place that you might have thought of but never dared or had an opportunity to try? You are free to have sex anywhere around your house once your children start living on their own, which opens up a whole lot of new possibilities for you and your partner.
- You have more time for yourselves. By the time they are fifty, most people have already established their careers and no longer need to worry about that aspect of their lives. In addition, even if you have younger kids who are still living with you, they are likely to be past the age when they need constant care and attention. Thus, both partners have fewer things on their minds and can take some time to develop their relationship. Having a close and stable relationship with your sexual partner is very important, as it can significantly improve the quality of sex.
- You’ll know yourself and what you want better. This is true for both sexes, but especially for women. Women tend to gain more self-confidence as they age, so by the time they’ve turned fifty, they are likely to have come to terms with who they are. They’ll also know what they like in bed and be less afraid or reluctant to try it. What’s more, menopause can act as a kind of sexual motivator for many women, because they realize that they have been neglecting their sexuality for quite a long time and if they don’t start using it soon enough, it might be forever lost to them. Thus, postmenopausal women can become more sexually active, especially if they are properly encouraged by their sexual partner.
- Your sex drive might actually increase. Healthcare experts claim that when people experience a decline in their hormone production, their sexual desire sinks as well. While this might be true, both you and your partner can benefit from special hormonal therapies that are aimed at older adults. Currently, scientists are exploring the possible benefits of a testosterone-based hormonal therapy for men. For women, hitting menopause means not only having less active hormone production, but also an end to taking birth control pills, which are known to inhibit sexual desire.
- You’re more financially secure. When you’re still doing your best to pay off a mortgage for that house of yours, you might not be up to spending extra money on romantic evenings or dinner dates. Once you’re done with that, you will probably find that your budget allows you to spend a little more money on your relationship, which always grants potential for improvement.
- You’re more likely to experiment with lubricants. While it is true that hormonal changes cause a woman’s vagina to become less moist, this might become an incentive to explore the world of lubes. Some of them are designed to increase sexual pleasure by promoting vasodilation (widening of blood vessels). Your sexual life can benefit from using such lubricants, so don’t let that feeling of dryness become a concern for you.
- Less stress for both partners. By the time you reach fifty, your career will most likely have reached its peak, and you won’t have to feel stressed out about achieving your career goals. Stress can have a significant negative impact on your sexual life, so when you feel more relaxed, you’re bound to feel some positive changes in your libido.
- Sexual problems in a relationship can be resolved. No matter what sexual disorders either of you might have, they’re all curable now. Furthermore, your sexual performance can usually be improved with the right treatment. If you or your partner happen to suffer from a sexual problem that can’t be treated, this might motivate you to experiment with sex toys, which can bring a lot of diversity and new experiences into your sexual life.
It is obvious that your sex life won’t be the same as you age, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that all changes have to be negative. Your sexual activities can become a way of expressing your love to your partner, rather than something you do because of your raging hormones. In addition, the experience and self-confidence that you gain over the years will surely be helpful in bringing your sexual life to a new level, instead of you slowly abandoning it.
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Tips to Make Sex after 50 Fabulous
The following recommendations will help you make your sexual life vibrant even when you’ve gone well past your forties:
- Make use of your confidence. As you grow older, you gain a lot of self-confidence and learn to accept yourself the way you are. This can be extremely helpful in boosting your libido. You’re also more likely to freely communicate your desires and apprehensions to your partner when you’re older, which can contribute to the quality of your sexual relationship.
- Ask for what you want. You should realize that sex is not only about your partner’s pleasure. Don’t be afraid to embrace your own sexuality and your need for sexual pleasure. What’s more, your partner might be more than willing to give you what you need, provided that they are aware of your needs and desires.
- Use lubrication. If you find that sex is becoming uncomfortable or even painful for one or both of you, try lubricants. They work well for many people, making sexual intercourse easier and a lot more pleasurable. Many manufacturers are even experimenting with some additional perks to the traditional idea of a lubricant, such as vasodilation or a warming effect.
- Take your time. Older people might need more time to get excited and achieve an orgasm, but the result is worth the wait, isn’t it? Don’t give up on sexual activities just because they seem to take longer than they used to. Accept the idea that you’ll have to devote more time to sexual intercourse, and learn to enjoy that time. Foreplay is an essential part of sexual intercourse in many cultures, so maybe you should try to look at it in a different way as if it is something that is meaningful in itself, and not just an intermediate step towards a bigger goal.
- Get your vitamin D levels checked. Your libido is a kind of life force, which can sometimes run out, so it has to be replenished. You can do that in many ways, but there is one particular thing that may help you get to the core of your problem. Make sure that you do not lack vitamin D, which is essential for a good mood and a healthy sexual drive. Unfortunately, medical evidence has shown that a lot of people have severe vitamin D deficiency, which leads to generally poor body function, as well as decreased libido.
- Always get enough sleep. Your body is like a battery that has to be recharged to maintain normal function. Thus, make sure that you do everything to sleep well and long enough to feel fresh and full of energy every morning. That will help you respond to your own sexual desires and those of your partner in a healthier way.
- Try new activities to tap into your libido. We may not realize it, but our brains are tuned to produce specific biofeedback to words, both written and spoken. Try reading erotic literature, by yourself or with your sexual partner. Alternatively, women can take up dancing classes as a way to connect with their sexuality and femininity.
This list of recommendations isn’t all-encompassing, and you likely find more things that work best for you and your partner. However, if you’re not willing to experiment, you can try the above mentioned tips, which have already worked for a lot of couples.